Well, today nothing happened - in steve coogan swimmingpool attendant voice, if that pleases you. So 2 days remain, that something happens, which it of course will. Cast my net somewhat on dating site, without responses. I mean, really? My profile is more or less indistinguishable from perfection. But anyway. I wanted to blog about the general contentitude i was feeling; until I logged on to fb and was reminded of my fucking up, which has rereleased the self-directed expletives. Anyway. Good day: Hope bleeds eternal, got my accomodation sorted out for next year, with my friend, in hopefully a nice, small place. Very interesting and productive studying. Not too woe begirt about e'thing. There is always hope, fuck it, dmom needs hope. This is close to a contradictio in adjecto, but anyway. What, then, for the necessary concomitant of hope, plans? No plans. I go home after tomorrow, and not too sad about it. It is. One needs hope; tho one can't, one will, go on. While i breath, i hope. Pistis, Elpis, Agape; faith, hope, charity(?). There is undoubtably something in these words. If we take charity, as the greek and church slavonic ( Ljuby) has it, to mean some form of love, this seems like a fairly good way to live one's life.
I guess my religious leanings of late are to indicate that i need help. Moreover, it seems to me I need help in the form of a piece of luck, a piece of chance. Let us premise that I am not undesirable; let us also, more dubiously premise - no! let's not that - the name should be banished from this blog, it leads to a very painful circle - - i am liked; then, if the occasion should present itself, all could become well. So what's needed is that the occasion present itself. But it doesn't. To have done all the hard stuff and be excluded by the workings of chance! That I should have befriended on just that day! That, if ever there was, is dustuche. Really it is, it never occurred to me. Really, you fucking owe me one cosmo!