der Mann ohne Moeglichkeiten, or, the efficacy of prayer

Is it possible for the man without possibilities to be sad? When I am sad e.g. re my x's death, am i sad that x is dead or that - x is alive? If you follow me? Am I sad because of the excluded possibility or the actuality which excludes it?
Anyway, I know what you're thinking: tmwp (dmom) doesn't blog, unless in tedious fashion to recount the days many nothingnesses. But I was thinking: even if i can't take about possibilities, it's surely the case that the possibility is actual, so I can talk about it? Is that cheating?
Anyway, ima say a resounding motherfuck to the below, while still maintaining its ataraxifying benefits im einsamen Seelenleben.
Today, it was nothing, and I was fairly unperterbed until i go to my little room at close of play, when i always feel the sting of loneliness. I try; but do i? Let's say I do. God, I try, and this 'God' is both an expletive and an apostrophe. And nothing. But there are others, less endowed than me, and i'm not talking cockwise, for whom things are so easy. Well, that's surely false, but it appears so to me anyway. What one must do? I am like first order logic with no added axioms. I can't even express 1+1=2; why? Because i have no friends. It is necessary to have friends, in order to socialise, in order to meet people outside the eingeschraenkt confines of the classroom. I have no friend ergo...
Anyhoo, as per the above, what about prayer? Of course prayer surely requires one to think that almost everything is possible, and therein to wallow. So it's not exactly the thing for tmwp. But say one really believes that p will happen; one has faith. This faith manifests itself in various imperceptible ways; this enables p to happen. Now, if one were a scientific christian, it would be interesting to test this out. One prays for a bunch of things of different attainability etc; think of the cosmic ordering service; although it's bullshit theoretically, it may well work. So; can I have faith? Of course, this will be of dubious religiosity. For i don't want faith to be a better person blah blah, but for the possibility of shenanigans; so if god exists, he probably wouldn't appreciate it. But then, if one neglects the god aspect, one has no ground really for one's faith, unless one's faith in faith is founded on faith. Is this circular in a bad way? Should I start to have faith that things will happen for me? How does one do this? Is not faith per se self-deception? One says to oneself, this is going to happen; but one ex hypothesi doesn't know this is going to happen. Of course, Hegel, in a definition of characteristic stupidity, says that faith = knowledge, or rather iff in place of =. Well, dear diary, shall we try? I have faith that something will happen in the next 3 days send me into half term happy. Should I bring God into this? For the countersuggestion is: well, you shouldn't wish for something external to happen, you should rather wish that your beliefs about external things etc. ou ta pragmata again. That's a more conventional religious prayer. Now let's drop the I have faith that: something will happen in the next 3 days.