As in ontology, so in philology ( by which i mean, natch, the logos of philia, not the logos of logoi, which should of course be called logology, for then the study of the discipline of words could be called logologology, ad inf. et absurdum) analysis must end somewhere. And that, dear diary, home to my treasures, aspirations and asperities, is today. I hereby swear to leave off the thesaurology and the subtle distinctions and appurtenances, moieties &c. thereto that even that minute philosopher, Alciphron, would dismay of; to plunge into each new day utterly hopeless wrt MC, and not, as some of those new to limbo must surely do, hope that ex machina a dea will come to laetificare my decrepit age; on every blemish of optimism to make it all by all to strangle it, and thus to become, with regard to the painful, painful world of other people like a computer, for whom the possible is nothing. To put it clearly in the mathematical precision of Sartre's metaphysics: if it's through the nothing that the possible is born, then I am to plug my nothing, to become a reines etwas( une quelque chose pure). This is really quite simple: there are many actualities to feast one's eyes on, and when i'm tempted to dream, I need only look down and say, this table is white, this handwriting is untidy etc. etc. until the possible-yips are steadied. The reason for this is the following ( and btw, my analysis-lent comes in to effect after i've finished this blog): the proportion of time one spends on the possible is inversely proportional to the time one spends engaged in the interestingly actual. She and most people, are more actual than possible, and thus, in the same situation, rely less on the possible for their happiness, but presumably have actual happiness, and i think it's probably fair to say she does, and thus are less prone to the pain that the possible has in store, which has been my tormentor of late. Again this can be clarified profoundly by the word 'distractions'; if she does love me, she has other things to think of and do, is less desperate therefore that that possible - that we become together - be actualized; is less tormented therefore by the slings and arrows of outrageous postclass interactions.