Well, I need to cease being such a neurotic. I think I'm getting towards letting go of MC and holding on to PH. I am coming to like her more; the weekend we had lunch together and watched a movie, a shit movie. The problem is my deep lack of self-confidence, so that if I don't receive a token of esteem each day I feel as if she is slipping from me. I am very insecure, unfortunately. And so, tonight, I feel the wings of mild despair pass over me, and for no good reason. To an extent it's I who does all the pursuing, which irritates. Moreover, I guess I should have made a move, but how does one do such things? No fucking clue. Also, I haven't revealed any of my dark secrets to her. Which I will need to. But at least I seem to be moving on from MC. Should I perhaps reveal myself to her? I.e. Polyhymnia. I think we're somewhat in an awkward stage. One issue is that I like to text, to be in contact often, and I think she doesn't. I initiate all textual exchanges. Anyway: there is NO reason to feel bad, on my part, this monday evening, all things considered. It is, I guess, tho it still paineth to say, for the best that MC and I muss ( subject here, the relationship) nicht sein. Thank you, Lord God; although whether this isn't the 'thank you' of the professional athlete, I don't know.