Oh me, oh my. You answered that one quickly God! MC, it pains, partially, to relate, is seeing someone. If it weren't for - let's quickly give her a name - Polyhymnia - it would be dead. But she is. Oh life! But it hurts! Do I even love MC? But this is all for the best, surely. We can both remain happy. Seriously, this is for the best. I can only thank the Weltgeist. But to have been unchosen, to have been, albeit incredibly obliquely, and probably more for circumstantial than for other reasons rejected! Sois sage, o ma douleur, et tiens toi plus tranquille. But not my will, but yours. But skotodeino! I spiral into darkness. It's funny how the pain of hurting MC is considerably less than my pain now. Humankind, tho woeful vessel! And how life, at all moments, surprises you. I never saw that coming! Recorditi di mi, che son la tua vita, this instant. No. Really, this is the best possible outcome! I am literally not exaggerating with all these exclamation points, this is how I feel at present. This is life: as the skurl without of excited students, the banter within, the knocking of heart on skin ( inskin, i mean). The slight wet of my hair; the waiting for a message from PH. The stomachwanking agony of emotion. The desire just not to be, to be away from these feelings. But these feelings are life, and it is not to be avoided.

Be positive! I need to turn this around, to get my mind off the events that transpired: as she said 'I've kind of...', and I knew the ending of the sentence. And a year of my life... but think back even to yesterday. This is a good result. But it hurts! The future however is mine and PH. I can and will have a girlfriend this year, hopefully. That was my goal. And a nice girl, and a non-complicated one.

God be thanked.