Lorks a lordy i'm predictable. Despite my sane advice to myself not to let my good plan harden and become an obsession, my good plan hardened and became an obsession thru a harsh night and a poor day capt by a negative tokenlet. First, the fond fantasies of which i'd been free for a while, letting things happen, returned. Fond they were, and fooooolish. Shitwich. The day, I went to a boring class with the hope of seeing here, she didn't arrive. But all my hopes were pinned on dinner. We sit and bam! Admittedly, the etiquette dictates that she don't sit with me. But we didn't see each other after either, and I go home sadhearted, aware that Tuesday is my best herday, and that the opportunity to formulate my plan will thus almost inevitably not occur this week, and so another week is gone. Concrete hopes and plans suck, especially in such a variableful environment as social interaction. BUT MOTHERFUCK GODDAMMIT TO SHIT, IS MY PLAN CONDEMNED TO GATHER MUST WITH ALL THE OTHER POSSIBILIA, SUCH AS THE PROOF OR DISPROOF OF THE CONTINUUM HYPOTHESIS??? That one can lack occasion, and potentially nothing else. For that is all i appear to be lacking, and moreover it's a much more concrete occasion that i lack, namely and simply the occasion to talk one-one with her.
Therapy: This is what is. I am condemned to by room for another night. Something may happen again in future: put the plan in your back pocket and let it gather dust, and just merely concentrate on the happiness of working and abstractly hoping.

Funnily enough, the more i excogitate certain matters, the more it appears that she has been hinting to me. but I may be overreading things.