One of the problems of having been an alcoholic is that it isn't great for one's health. Specifically, my teeth are pretty bad, full of holes and i'm scared of the dentist. This is something i need to work on for despite my fairly rigorous current oral hygiene regime one pays for the actions of one's former self, and back in the day i wouldn't brush my teeth before going to bed because i would drink more in bed and didn't want the lovely boozy taste to be marred by toothpaste. Moreover, one of the last if not the last time that I went to the dentist I had like a panic attack, so that has prevented me from going back. Perhaps the very fact of talking about this and objectifying it will make me take a course of action. But it will cost, and moreover i'm very embarassed, and the low cost solution would require me to perhaps be treated by people whom i know. I simply couldn't afford normal price dentistry. Perhaps if I come into money. But it causes me daily anxiety and fear for the future. Thankfully at present my grill isn't too bad but this will only get worse, despite the best laid plans. Really it's a question of when not if, and i should make that when as soon as possible. One of the important things to realize is that the situation is mine. It's not good saying oh that's nothing to worry about; also to chastise myself. It's a fact that I am what I am, and was what I was, and that I can't just run away from it. Yes.
In other news, my plans for socializing are going well. The possibility is open for me to see the internet girl again, and tho indeed i will need to make a move sometime, well, that's one of those nice problems. There's also fate (see below for the illusory allusion). And thereover I think often smilingly, but if there is indeed something, which is not definite, how to do something about it is another question. Tomorrow may or may not see something happen. Would I be ready, willing or able to ask her out in some sort of scenario? Well, yes, those words could certainly apply. aHmmm.