Fucking amazing scene in the wire(s4e9) I watched yesterday. There were these hood kids,in a special class behind their delinquancy, and they won a prize to go out to dinner with their teacher. They were all looking forward to it. Then they went, and they were completely out of their depth. They had never had dinner in a restaurant, and felt deeply uncomfortable with the politeness and helpfulness of the waiters. They walked out of the restaurant in near silence, and as they were being driven home, they began to act up. It reminds me of something my psychoanalysis lecturer said the other day: we can't take too much reality, and the child learns to live in the world by venturing forth into it, then retreating when things get too "real". For the kids, the idea of a fancy restaurant and waiters to serve you and fine food was all well and good; but the reality of it, that was a whole different thing.
Now here's an anecdote. When I started college, there existed something, such that x was a girl, x liked me and indeed i liked x. One day after class we went for a drink (non boozeaholic obv in my case). We had a conversation and shit, and in my opinion, it fell flat; I dun fucked up, to use (non racistly!) an ebonic auxiliary. She continued however to ask me to do things. But partly out of fear that something actually could happen, and partly, I think, because I felt that I had indeed fucked up that drink, that i felt embarassed to be in front of her for revealing my true, percievedly-inadequate self, I refused. Moreover, and here's the kicker, I became rather standoffish, almost unpleasant to her, from having been very interested and comparatively friendly towards her. So I acted, moderately, like a dick, because I felt I had embarassed myself. But it's lamentable; how ( or so, at least, I think; i'm sure the real in this case would be just as disheartening (perfect word, i think - the feeling of the heart sinking)) would i like to be in this situation now!