Well, it's the last Saturday night before college again begins. It's been a fine summer; some positives rolled out, some pleasing intellection, some mild despair. It's my vow not to be alone the rest of the year. How exactly this is to come about, i'm not sure. MC is the main target. So I suppose it will behove me to ask her out or something. There is other internetful broad. She's older and more likely to intercourse me, which is good, but she's not MC. She's criminally disinterested in things. Wrt religiosity, which was one of the goals of the summer, I think the position that I've reached is that there may indeed, rationally speaking, be a God, but it seems hard to see how he could interfere in human affairs, since he doesn't appear to. Perhaps the mere fact that belief in God helps is not to be interpreted as just a evolution wrought kink in our brains, but an indication that we are on to something: that we are wired for belief because that's how he wants it. Second conclusion: Jesus may well be he. Let us grant that a fair bit of the gospels may not record accurately what he said ( that this is the case is fairly well established in biblical commentaries). Nevertheless, we have that he is, that he is at the very least a pointer to God ( allowing as a limiting case of pointinghood that a pointer can point to itself)... I mean wrt to the above. I believe, and am ameliorated. Whence the amelioration? God or me? Is there a difference? But then, what about placebo effect - amelioration without even belief.

But I'm still not being moral, not sufficiently. It is easy to fall into a mire, to overlook good doables. God would not, should not be happy with how I live. This I need to make true for myself. But it's a process: I may, or may not, get there eventually.